Avenged Sevenfold - So Far Away

Avenged Sevenfold - So Far Away: "Nightmare"

Come back to me, it's almost easy..

Current Mood: Sad
Listening to: Avenged Sevenfold radio on Pandora

I guess idk exactly what it is i'm suppose to write here. I'm not even 100% sure why I got one of these. Maybe i'm just here to vent. I probably will slack and hardly ever update this. But whatever, you never know.

I ask myself a lot lately why it is that some people get into your heart and then it's so damn hard to get them out. It's like then slide into some crease in your heart that you can't get into to scrape them out. They stay in there and make you over think and make you ache. It's so pathetic of me. I over think shit. That is my major problem. That and my confidence. I have like 10% of it when I should be at 100%.

I get so pissed off at myself. Mostly cuz I always want what I can't get. I always want guys that are so out of my league. Guys that will never want me in a million year cuz there's tons of amazing girls out there. I'm funny, i've got good fashion sense, I have amazing taste in music and I'm a nice honest girl. Maybe that's the problem? I should just be a bitch? Guys seem to like bitches. But that just isn't me. I can't be like that and I don't want to change for anyone. I'm me and that's all I can be. It's all I know how to be. I also upset myself cuz I'm such a coward. I could never tell him how I honestly feel. So I guess i'll never know. I'm not very good with rejection.

I hate days like today. Not cuz I know everyone else is out having fun, but cuz days like today I have a heavy feeling in my stomach, pain in my chest and a lump in my throat ans all I wanna do is cry. I hate days like today. I just keep telling myself that it'll pass. Tomorrow i'll wake up and that void will still be in my heart. I don't get it. I can't even type all this without wanting to cry. What a shitty day and what a shitty first post.